This week I had the uncomfortable experience of attending a funeral for a Jewish woman who had not attended synagogue in years. In the audience sat not one person with their own kippah. The cantor who spoke had never met the deceased. During our shiva call to the woman’s non-Kosher home, mirrors were not covered and the family was not observing even one of the customs of Jewish mourners. The home was full of Asian and African folk art, but not one piece of Judaica. I am struck by the fact that such a large percentage of our community is so similarly situated. Why do these folks make arrangements with Jewish chapels, scamper about to find some member of the Jewish clergy to say a few nice things about them (or have family members who do so as an afterthought), and want to be buried in a Jewish cemetery?
I really am at a loss. . . As we have just left Hanukkah, I wonder if the Hellenistic Jews arranged to put forward the same Jewish pretense at burial. I know that all Jews should be buried as Jews, but did this woman realize given the way she lived her life, the chances of her son’s marrying Jews and, therefore, of her grandchildren being buried as Jews is infinitesimal? Don’t we all realize this?
Have the Hellenists of today stopped for a moment to contemplate that when the cantors who do not know them bury them, they will also be burying their family’s long struggle to preserve their faith? I would say they don’t care, but if they really don’t, why go through all the fuss of being buried as a Jew?
