As I begin to write this entry I am a bit ashamed. I am ashamed that what motivated me to return to my public journal was something negative, not any of the wonderful things that have happened since my last entry. So let me preface my whining with an update. In fact, I am going to separate the entries altogether.
Garb
On one level, what one wears seems like such a material concern, so contrary to the more fundamental concerns of the neshama (soul). Although tznius (modesty) clearly makes sense, and I comprehend and support it for men and women alike, the issues of attire seem at first glance so superficial. Knit or felt kippah (see my earlier post)? Black suit or not? Shtreimal, shtofener or fedora? What’s the difference?
However, as one thinks about these things, it becomes clear that certainly on a general level your inside is impacted by your outside. School districts are coming to realize this everywhere. Dress codes do improve behavior. Dressing more “Jewish” has improved my “behavior.” Since putting on a kippah, I have come to realize that whether I should have to be or not, I am now an emissary for all Jews, especially more traditionally religious ones.
If I lose my temper, or drive too fast, it is not just some jerk doing it, it is a Jew doing it. Maybe we should not have to concern ourselves with this. Perhaps we should be allowed to be just like everyone else, but we are not just like everyone else. We are indeed a light unto the nations; not just on the big issues, but also in our day-to-day lives. So, the fact that people judge us as Jews, and not just as any other person, is a positive thing. At times I think Jews, and even and perhaps especially religious Jews, forget this.
Beyond what our dress says to the rest of the world, it says a great deal to our fellow Jews as well. It is a uniform. It says, “I am on your team.” Unfortunately, sometimes we forget that most Torah centered Jews are on the same team. A different kippah, or hat, or robe, or gartel, or tallis should not be seen as a different team affiliation; rather, it is simply a cultural nuance. Perhaps to most Torah centered Jews there is a basic line, but although a shtreimal may be a bit more odd at first glance than a fedora, the wearers of both are still closer to each other than they are to 99.9% of the rest of the world.
Finally, that which is most important to me, how we dress is of paramount importance to our children. What motivated me to start wearing tzitzit (oh, did I not mention that yet?) was bringing my kids to school. Like becoming Shomer Shabbos, I did not want my kids to see one thing at school (they are girls) and something else at home. If the boys all around them had to wear tzitzit, how could I let them see me without them? Hashem indeed works miracles through our children. If someone had asked me five years ago if I would ever wear tzitzit, I would have said never. Now I have four, and want to buy better ones. I look forward to putting on my nicest ones for Shabbos. And as I said at the beginning of this post, they make me evermore cognizant of my emissary status.
